Commando

This is a brilliant movie. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays John Matrix, a retired government killer who inexplicably has a daughter played by Alyssa Milano. Not only is it an action masterpiece in which Schwarzenegger kills 81 people, it is also a comic masterpiece. Behold this image. He and and his daughter and feeding a deer. Yes, they really are. You might have missed it because it's in the credits, but they are feeding a fawn. If you haven't seen this movie I feel sorry for you. It must hurt. There must be a feeling of incompleteness knawing away at you. Sucks.


This movie is essential. It doesn't need to make sense. Hell it makes more sense than all the major religions put together. I'm so jealous of people living in California. His motorcycle was hit by a car and what happens to him? He gets a bunch of stitches on his lip. Why? That's the only part of his un-aging flesh not covered in muscle. Amazing. Last action hero INDEED.