Secret Puzzles

I love secret puzzles! Sierra Trading Post's catalouge not only has great deals, but somewhere, in one of the item descriptions, it has a question that, if answered, will get you free ground shipping on your entire order. This kind of secret challenge is not only really cool, it says that the staff are of a certain calibar and quality that I approve of. Yet another reason to buy from them. This one says—

"Born in Brazil, this leader improved the state union, did time in the house, was cleared by the White House and never returned to the Lake Orion House. His middle name was Riddle. Tell us his name and earn free ground shipping on your entire order (not valid with any other special offers)."

Hatemonger

A friend is now sending me years worth of digital 60's comics and the first one I looked at is Fantastic Four #21, in which the four battle the Hatemonger. In this frame, he uses a frase being tossed around recently as a popular George W. Bush quote and it is used by little Darth in Star Wars Episode III. I just want to use this is an example of how Bush is certainly not the first to use this famous frase and how it was widely known even in 1963. Too bad there's going to be a Fantastic Four movie. Blah

Home Depot Sucks

I had to go to Home Depot twice this weekend, and both times it was terrible. I miss small hardware stores. And it's not like "the Depot" is this haven of consumerism where you can buy anything you need for the home, because instead of focusing on specific things, they just have a little of most things, which creates a haphazard and annoyingly organized warehouse atmosphere. BOOO! BOOO! BOOO! That's what I have to say about that! And self-checkout sucks too.

DC Logo Change

Well, after decades, DC Comics has changed its logo. The new icon looks newer; keeping the star and the boldness of its predecessor, but I don't really like it. If DC was going to be bold and new, they should have done it back in 2000 when everyone else thought it was a good time to change. I always thought the four stars and thickness made it look retro and collegiate, but I guess those qualities don't sell comics as much as flashiness and spunk. We'll soon see what everyone thinks about this, because I may just be a curmudgeon resistant to change.

Making the Switch

I've wanted to have a Mac ever since first grade in my Tree City, USA elementary school decked out with those neat white boxes. So, you can understand my glee in working with this new interface and all these new programs. One I especially love, just for it's versatility, is iCal. This upcoming June is going to be a crazy one, and the screenshot to the right should give you a small idea. On some weekends, there are three graduation parties on the same day, which is pretty awesome and delicious but also pretty tiring. However, iCal is making it pretty fun to organize everything.

Frickin' Sweet Man (He Said Ironically)

I recently finished reading Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut. It has an interesting style, being a historical fiction written in an autobiographical fashion. The narrator is a former Nazi radio-man/propaganda creator and secret agent for the United States. I really love everything I read by Vonnegut, which besides this book has been Slaughterhouse Five, God Bless You Mr. Rosewater, and Cat’s Cradle. But this one has had the least science fiction and been perhaps the most accessible. I enjoyed it immensely and highly recommend it. On another note, I have been lazy with pictures recently and will get on that soon.

The Journal

Last night, I was at an eagle scout banquet, and I talked to a man who used to write for the now defunct Philadelphia Bulletin. He gave me a lot of exceptional advise. Especially interesting was that everyday he reads the NYTimes, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Philadelphia Daily News, and The Wall Street Journal. I read it through for the first time today, and he was right, the middle column on the front page is pretty awesome. Today's was about doggy day care. However, I don't want to subscribe for over two hundred dollars, and it isn't available online, so I hope I can get it somehow in college.

Lightning "Fucking" Bolt!

Last Night was unbelievable. I've been to a few concerts, and I've moshed before, but this was one of the most orgiastic, dionysic experiences I've ever had. First of all, what a setting. You walk up a narrow staircase, pay a requested donation, and then spill out into this little warehouse-like room above an auto clinic. There was hardly any room; people swung from the rafters and crowded walls. And I wouldn't say people danced, but rather they exploded. There was no room to fall, and long as you pushed and kept your hands up and in front of you, there was nothing to worry about. At one point, I made it up to the front and was about two feet away from the guitarist, which was more exhilarating than I can describe here. However, next time, and there will be a next time, I have to remember to bring water in, because there was a time when I felt like I was going to throw up or lose consciousness, so I stumbled outside and then walked to the rite-aid for some water. When I eventually got back, the concert ended, so that kind of sucked, but I had enough anyway. See that picture to the right? It's the album cover to Lightning Bolt's Wonderful Rainbow, and if you don't have it, you should give it a few tries. Turn the volume all the way up, invite all of your friends into a small room and turn off the lights, and you will begin to understand.

Lightning Bolt

Tonight my friends and I are going to what should be an amazing experience. Lightning Bolt, the RISD madmen, are playing at a local warehouse. It should be pretty ridiculous. I'm bringing earplugs, because I've heard from friends who have seen them before that seeing "the bolt" (note: probably not a nickname) is an ass-shaking experience, in the best way possible. There will be more details to follow for sure. Also, this is my first post from my new computer, the aforementioned 15" Powerbook G5 (correction: it's actually a G4, but I seem to have difficulty describing it as such). The interface is transcendent. I'm loving it, and not in any way having to do with McDonalds.

Be Your Own Car's Hero

That would be the slogan of my amazing new technology. Alright, it's commonly known that car-alarms blow. They are obnoxious, and hardly ever do what they are supposed to. A more efficient system would be to make the electronic key remote vibrate and/or make a noise. 1: You know it's your car. 2: It doesn't annoy everyone else. If you are too far away for the radio waves transmitted from the car to hit your key, then you are not going to be able to do anything about it and you wouldn't have heard the alarm anyway. The simple diagram shows a soldier of the Foot from Ninja Turtles (hey, it could happen) attacking your massive Ford Excursion (not to scale, this car is nineteen feet long and seven feet high) and the key appropriately freaking out. Click on it for bigger versions. Perhaps the car alarm does effectively scare off some jackers, but there's no reason this system couldn't be added as well. The technology already exists and is in use everyday by millions.

Hooray for Sharpies!

Some Artistic Heroes

Below I have assembled some of my artistic heroes (excluding music). I have only thought about this recently, so more names may pop up, but even so, I recommend checking out everyone of these people. It has been interesting, and I have noticed some trends—I seem to like liberal males like myself. I don’t limit myself to such constraints, but that seems to be where my highest respect falls. I respect all of these men as intellectuals and philosophers as well.

Alan Moore - Perhaps the greatest writer of comics ever, Moore is able convey metaphor and innuendo visually through his scripts at an amazing level. Some of his works have been converted into movies, such as The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and From Hell, but he refuses to see them. His books all have a sort of underlying social commentary, and he is known for rescuing series and making them classic, like the Swamp Thing. Though he has officially retired and moved on to practicing magic, Mr. Moore will always remain a legend in comics and a personal hero.

Oscar Niemeyer - Mr. Niemeyer is the most recent addition to the list, though he is the oldest man on it. I just read about him in this week's New York Times Sunday Magazine, and he seems to represent everything I like about Modernist Architecture while being an awesome individual also. At 97, he continues to combine sensuality with Modernism, creating new buildings in his native Brazil and around the world. In the 50’s, he helped create the new capital of Brasília, and now teaches philosophy on the weekends to anyone who shows up. He may be a staunch Communist, but I find it more telling that he remained loyal to his beliefs through the Cold War.

Dave Eggers – I could love Dave Eggers if all he did was found McSweeney’s and 826 Valencia, but he is also a really good writer. I have yet to get into his books, but I love everything I read on www.McSweeneys.net and every article he writes in SPIN. He just seems like the kind of person that I want to be in a few years. I considered putting former Green Lantern writer Judd Winick up here, but as Chuck Klosterman points out in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, both men applied for the Real World in San Francisco and couldn’t both be on the show because they essentially fit the same archetype of sympathetic cartoonist/writers that I enjoy/try and emulate.

More to come later.

My Dream Phone

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't want a flip-phone, a camera phone, an internet enabled phone, or any combination of the three. I also despise ringtones. Several emotional moments have been made awkward/traumatic/all around despicable by my own ringtone, and many times has a good performance or speech been interrupted rudely by someone else's. However, I'm not against cell phones. I like the accessibility and the convenience, but I could do without just about every accessory. So I have devised the perfect phone for young, savvy, poor cell-phone users like myself. In the sketch at the right (which is about to scale), you will notice that besides the keypad, there are nine other visible buttons. That may seem like a lot, but considering how easy the phone would be to use, it matters not. Let me explain them—the two buttons aside the non-color screen would negotiate names and a few basic options, which could be selected by the button below the screen with the filled-in oval. Next to it, with the un-filled-in oval, is the on/off button. The brightness of the light in the center of that button would indicate the battery power. Below the keypad are a "call" and an "end" set. And on the side are easy volume control and a button that toggles between the stellar and near-silent vibrate setting and the only ring tone, the generic cough of an adult male. What also makes the phone unique is the lower portion/receiver which is stored inside the phone when it is off or on "keyguard" and which shoots out but by a slightly harder to press button on the non-visible side. This is not only new and “fetch,” but reminiscent of The Matrix, which is sure to attract many young men, who will want the phone desperately and not know why. The tiny speakers are on the top, so sound can travel up to your ear and not be too loud. And because of the simplicity and discrete size, the model could be much cheaper than phones currently on the market.

Buttons/Knobs/Levers I Love to Push/Turn/Pull

Top Five:

1. The throttle that engages the self-propulsion on the lawn mower. You have to push forward, hold, and release.
2. The parking break on my dad's Toyata Matrix, although rarely reared up and put into use, just clicking the metal nub is fun enough.
3.The door handle to most doors at school.
4.The clicker at the end of my favorite pen
5. The driver's side lock on the car door of my mom's Nissan Maxima

IPod Theft

ipod
Originally uploaded by jessohackberry.

I'm getting an iPod Shuffle (my reasoning for a Shuffle is for another post) for graduation, and a Powerbook G4, which should be wonderful. But I keep hearing and reading that stealing iPods is the new trend, and this makes me nervous. It might not usually, but I read an article in a major national newspaper in the city I'm going to college in, and it mentioned a girl whose dorm room was broken into and whose iPod and laptop were stolen. And guess what college she goes to? Just the very one I recently sent a six hundred dollar deposit to. But oh well. That's the risk of living in the city, right? I'll just have to find some inconspicuous non-white headphones.

Mix CDs

While Mix tapes are still fun, it's just much easier to create Mix CDs now. With the advent of Itunes, I love dragging and dropping songs into a playlist, and watching that little warning-like symbol spin. I totally agree with High Fidelity (I'm paraphrasing here) in that making a mix is an art in itself, one in which you carefully articulate your feelings through the art of others. We've all gotten bad mixes, but when songs are put together well (sometimes it takes an interlude or a mediocre track) it just seems to gel. I just think that the art has become digital, and eventually, it might even be reduced to passing playlists through MP3 players or something. And, with all the extra space available on a CD, there is a question that each mix-maker needs to address. Do I fill the CD to its capacity, or do I make a really strong set of ten or so songs that's about a half-hour? Most musicians address this in one way or another as well, and my attitude is "fill'er up," but a surprising number of my friends tend to go the other way. Anyway, here is a recent one I made, of no particular theme—

1. “Just Like Heaven” - The Cure 3:32
2. “Hey” - Pixies 3:17
3. “You Never Give Me Your Money” - The Beatles 4:02
4. “Holland, 1945” - Neutral Milk Hotel 3:12
5. “Timorous Me” - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists 4:34
6. “Digital Love” - Daft Punk 4:58
7. “My Valuable Hunting Knife” - Guided by Voices 2:00
8. “Alan Is A Cowboy Killer” - Mclusky 4:09
9. “The Cool Song” - St. Thomas 3:34
10. “When In Doubt, Just Fuck It (Interude)” - John Lennon 0:09
11. “I'm a Ghost” - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists 4:27
12. “Pick Up The Pieces” - Average White Band 3:58
13. “I'm Cool (Interude)" - Outkast 0:42
14. “Lion's Teeth” - The Mountain Goats 3:25
15. “Hats Off To Larry” - Del Shannon 1:58
16. “I Can Help” - Billy Swan 2:58
17. “CQ” - Clinic 1:09
18. “Short Circuit” - Daft Punk 3:26
19. “Since U Been Gone / Maps” - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists 3:35
20. “Baby One More Time” - Travis 3:30
21. “Beat Bionic” - Uberzone 4:00

The Perfect Snack

Here we go. One water cracker, plus one modest slice of Gorgonzola, one piece of briefly (20 sec. or less) microwaved pepperoni, and one sundried tomato. Stack and eat. Repeat. Excellent!

Yiddish

In order to get in touch my roots and not let those expensive years of Hebrew School go to waste, I've decided to take up Yiddish. You might be wondering, why would I try to learn a mostly dead language when I've had difficulty with Spanish since 6th grade? Well, I've always had an interest in it, and now seems like the right time. My Dad knows it conversationally, and my grandmother knows some as well, so I would be able to work on pronunciation with them, but I would learn it mostly from the book to the right. My grandmother is letting me borrow her two copies of the 1949 textbook, "Yiddish for Adults" as well as an English to Yiddish dictionary. I'm not so concerned with learning how to write completely proficiently, but there are various communities of Yiddish speakers around the world that I would like to be able to converse with. Wish me luck.

Make Which Toast?

I'm a big fan of Ted Leo & the Pharmacists. There's a really great song off of Hearts of Oak called "I'm a Ghost." In the first line of the song (see the full lyrics here), he sings, "I'm a Ghost, and I wanted you to know that it's taking all my strength to make this toast." I always assumed that he meant a verbal toast, initiated in public by the tapping of a knife against a glass. However, my friend always thought he literally meant toast. The debate continues.

Talent and the Individual (Blue Man)

One of the best parts of the trip up north was seeing the Blue Man Group. Not only was it dynamic and hugely entertaining, but it was a full lesson in aesthetics. There was a wealth of topics including the brain's perception of images, animation, sequential art, and a satire of many artistic concepts like the "pain of the artist." The show ridiculed modern art, the internet cafe, and many nuances of "advanced" culture and technology. Of course none of the three blue-people talked them selves, but there were a number of signs, scrolling messages, and videos to provide information. The best part, however, was the surprises and disorienting uses of familiar or simple effects. I won't give anything away, but it was great production I wouldn't mind seeing again. Note: probably not a good idea to see this show while on ecstasy.

New Format

My friend made this layout a while ago and hasn't used it since, so he invited me to use it here. I think it looks pretty good, but soon I'll put something of my own together. In the meantime, enjoy. He read it, you know...in a book (Dodgeball reference for you hardcore fans). The original can be found here.

Boston Pictures

Well, the pictures are finally in. I have a made a set here for you to look at them. Click on a thumbnail and the picture will get bigger and my description will be below it. This is probably the best third of all my pictures, which is exactly why I need a working digital camera.

The Mountain Goats and Co.

Good Concert. I approve wholeheartedly. The opening act, Erick Friedlander, played interesting cello pieces such as "I am Filthy" and "Here comes the Madwoman." The Mountain Goats played a very enjoyable set of songs with audible lyrics and well-played instruments. Also, John Darnell of the Goats was hillarious between sets, and an apparent former meth addict. Reminds me of the recent album of Guided by Voices frontman Robert Pollard's Relaxation of the Asshole. It's basically recordings of his stage banter. Pitchfork compares it to Having Fun on Stage With Elvis. Anyways, it was a good show. The kind of show that makes you want to listen to all of the band's music and see them again and again.

Aladdin Sane for the 21st Century/AP Spanish

People are starting to post their pictures from the trip. This one is David Bowie, on the left in his 1973 tour poster, and on the right after kickin' it with us this weekend. We partied with the rocker and his gay alien alter-egos for a couple of nights, and let me just say that he truly is "A lad insane."

On a more serious note, I took the AP Spanish test today and it was not as fun as drunken excursions with an aging rock star. Yeah, it sucked. And, as with most language related tests, I have no idea how I did, but I hope it's a 4 so that it's not a complete waste of 82 dollars, though it probably is. Oh well. Last high school standardized test ever. Time to celebrate by going to see the Mountain Goats tonight. Should be good.

Shrimp in a Boot

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This was thought of originally as a joke, but I think in reality it would be a profitable hip little enterprise for just about any major metropolitan area (but not all, I hate chains). Here's the premise—You come in, you pick a boot from the vast collection ranging from cowboy to hiking, it's quickly lined with plastic, and then it's filled with the shrimp of your choice. Of course, there would be many varieties of shrimp and toppings. What celebrity wouldn't endorse Shrimp in a Boot? The sheer novelty and kitsch of it all is overwhelming.

Burt's Covers (No, This Is Not An Exposé Of Two Romping "Sesame Street" Characters)

I don't listen to many podcasts (downloadable radio programs), but one that I need to hear three times a week is Coverville hosted by Brian Ibbott. This is wonderful for anyone who likes music and/or cover songs. Often I am surprised to find that great songs are actually covers. ("Suzie Q" is not originally by Creedance Clearwater Rivival! Who knew?) One of the more recent shows was all songs written by Burt Bacharach and I thought it was great. It's kinda on the long side, but very enjoyable. Except for the Aimee Mann song. Check it out here.

Dude Has Big Lips

So I'm back from Boston, a city, which to my delight, is entrenched with Masonic influence. Unfortunatley the pictures won't be developed till Thursday, so I'll leave most of my synopsis for when I can scan in some visual aides. But I did buy this expensive program at The Phantom of the Opera. I couldn't see any faces on the stage from my seat, and I didn't realize how freaky those lips were until I looked at the program afterwords. Dear God they are freaky.